BODIES DO WILD THINGS.

They sweat.
They smell.
They bleed.
They leak.
They grow hair.
Sometimes all before 9am.

Congrats, you’re alive.

But somehow, culture still treats normal body functions like a PR crisis.

People whisper about hemorrhoids.
Hide period products.
And defend dry toilet paper online like it’s the peak of human innovation.

That’s why we built Bidetlity.

For bodies as they really are.
Not sterile.
Not perfect.
Real.

The foldy, sweaty, unpredictable kind.

Making care feel less embarrassing, less clinical and a lot more human.

No shame.
No pretending your body should behave like a marble countertop.

Just better standards for actual humans.

THE DEPARTMENT OF BETTER STANDARDS

Markus, Co-Founder

Former lawyer and restaurateur. Now a father of two with an unexpectedly strong interest in under-hygiene. Tried a bidet once. Since then, every defense of dry toilet paper sounds to him like someone arguing for fax machines in 2026.
Corinna, Culture & Chaos

Fascinated by how grown adults defend dry toilet paper on the internet like civilization depends on it. And suddenly talk about vulvas like they’re in an HR meeting.
Lucius, Co-Founder

Restaurateur with a slightly unhealthy obsession for great products and fixing terrible standards. Always found it strange that people buy designer furniture but completely give up once they enter the bathroom. Team sustainability. Team aesthetics. Team better ideas.
Nicole, Product Support

Grew up with bidets. Only realized as an adult that people genuinely wipe themselves dry on purpose. The culture shock has never fully left.
Melissa, Planet & People

Likes being outdoors. Which is probably why she keeps coming back wondering why humanity genuinely needs wet wipes called “Ocean Breeze.” Writes about bodies, sustainability and better standards.
Kalimero, Cat

Former street cat. Successfully infiltrated a Berlin startup and has refused to leave ever since. Has absolutely no shame and publicly licks his own ass. Probably the freest member of the team.